Deep Muses
by intoxicatedeulogy
Summary: What life was like for Sakura. Slight parody. Slight A.U.


Sakura sits under a tree, and gathers chakra, after a long and tiresome fight against Ino. Tsunade was watching over the two, and when they both dropped down from chakra exhaustion, had ordered them to cool-down in the shade, to gather energy. However, Ino-pig, who was beside her just a few moments ago, announced that she had gathered enough, and was currently training. Training, which meant trying to avoid Tsunade's punches.

But Ino was doing great, much better than Sakura could ever dare to admit. _It's not fair._ Sakura muses. It's not fair how Ino-pig had more chakra supply than her. It took Sakura a year just to gather enough chakra to land a punch on Tsunade, _the_ Tsunade, _the Hokage_ , but it took Ino only a few _months_. Sakura, who spent months and months, locked up in a library, pouring over hundreds of medical books, often fainting because of exhaustion, it wasn't _fair how_ Ino _could just get it like_ that.

Tsunade had even commented on her performance, how it was lacking compared to Ino. Sakura expected Tsunade to understand.

She was _trying._ It was just so _hard. It's hard, and confusing, and a tangle of mess._

People often forgot Sakura came from a civilian family. Her mom and dad have never in their life tried producing chakra. They offered no fancy - bloodline - jutsu, no tips on how to position your body while doing taijutsu, no nothing. _Zip, zilch, nada._

The sun cast a bloody red color over Konoha. Ino beat her today. _INO. INO. INO._

Where had she gone wrong? Did she not train hard enough? Did she miss a step? What went wrong? Maybe that was just the way things were. It was the same with Kakashi. With Naruto. With _Sasuke._ She let them all down. And now, she had disappointed Tsunade as well.

To Hell with it all. The only other time she felt this sad was when Tsunade talked to her about Sasuke.

Was it bad that Sakura has a crush on Sasuke? So does at least 50% of Konoha's population. Heck, even Naruto was obsessed over Sasuke (Itachi approved). Hinata had a crush on Naruto, Tenten definitely had a crush on Neji, Lee had a crush on her, and it goes on.

It was only because Sasuke left Konoha, _betrayed it,_ left her alone. She _trusted_ him. They were teammates! They were the closest people had ever been with her, besides her parents. She hurt much more than anyone could have imagined. But she still loves him. Her love for Sasuke only magnified over the years they had been together. It was never a puppy crush to start with. She never gave up on him, and - does anyone know how hard that is? To watch someone you _love,_ abandon home, and go from "most favored bachelor" to "traitor," and one of the most wanted missing-nin.

It wasn't that Sakura didn't bear resentment towards him. A traitor must be killed for his actions, and Sasuke was no exception. Sakura could only hope she would not be there. But at the same time, she wanted to see him again, have him to herself, even for just a little bit. However the only way she will see him again, was for one of them to die.

 _Probably more likely me than him,_ Sakura thought bitterly. Sasuke was powerful. More so than herself. She won't be able to kill him based on her improvement now. That was how it always was, wasn't it? Sakura will always be the weak link. She will always be the one being protected, the one who wasn't good enough.

Sakura still remembers when Kakashi complimented Naruto on his improvements. Sasuke had told her that she was the weakest. Then, Sasuke leaves to pursue power. Years later, Kakashi left her in the hands of another sensei, going on ANBU missions again. Naruto leaves, and from his letters, he seemed to have mastered the art of Sage. What about Sakura? Sure, she could throw a punch or two, poison some people, heal other people.

She doesn't fight. Only now, she doesn't know if it was because of her style, or because of something else she doesn't dare to face.

* * *

Years later, and Sakura wouldn't even remember the day Ino beat her. They would fight battles together, get hurt together, and fight with each other. Looking back, Sakura was just a girl with misplaced affection. The girl who was killed by the love of her life. Ino was just another ninja who was killed in action. Sakura was the medical nin, second after Tsunade. Ino was a great Yamanaka, mastering the mind-control jutsu. Perhaps this didn't change anything in the long-run. But today, Sakura understood, if only fleetingly, she understood what she was, what she was here for, and her heart.


End file.
